Bizzare Facts and Stupid Quotes

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Bizzare Facts and Stupid Quotes

Bizzare Facts

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law!)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different when reversed?)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this? I want to move to Guam!)

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.

A whale's penis is called a dork.

The average man falls asleep within 30 seconds of having sex (if not during).

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

Stupid Quotes

"Inbreeding is how we get championship horses."
- Carl Gunter, Louisiana state representative, explaining why he was fighting a proposed antiabortion bill that allowed abortion in cases of incest.

"If you walk backwards, you'll find out that you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going."

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

Where's my jacket? I've looked everywhere! Under the bed, over my chair, on the stairs, on the hall floor, in the kitchen. It's just not anywhere....Oh HERE it is! Who put it in the stupid closet!?

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

You know that old saying, 'Strike while the iron is hot?' Well, I think that's a pretty dumb saying, 'cause I'll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

"I've never had major knee surgery on any part of my body."

I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

"I've always thought that under populated countries in Africa are vastly underpopulated."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history -- this century's history--We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."