Curses, Broiled Again!

A woman decided at the last minute to get a quick tan for a special occasion. When she found out about the limits the salons set on their tanning beds, she signed up at several different tanning salons. A few days later, her husband told her she "smelled funny". She showered and showered but the smell wouldn't go away. When she finally went to the doctor he ran some tests and told her: "I'm sorry, it seems you've microwaved your internal organs, there's nothing we can do for you."

 

The Fatal Boot

Over a hundred years ago, a cowboy shot a rattlesnake. It wasn't dead, so he stomped it to death. Within a few days, the man took ill and died mysteriously. When his son was grown, he proudly took his fathers favorite boots as his own, a few days later he turned grey and died. His wife had been pregnant at the time, and when her son was grown she gave him the boots, telling him "You're father and your grandfather died in these boots, take good care of them." A few days later he died. Finally someone noticed that in the heel of the boot was the rattlesnake's fang, and it had enough venom left for several more generations.

 

The Fast Train

A not particularly bright man takes a high speed train to get home from a business meeting on the other side of the state. While riding, he looks out the train window to admire the beautiful country side. A woman from behind yells "Look out!" so the man leans farther out the window to see. A loud "whack" sounded as the man's head was chopped off be a passing tree.

The Last Kiss

One day a worker fell feet-first into a large piece of equipment. His legs were crushed and his torso was hoplessly stuck. The paramedics said that if they puledl him out it would kill him, and if they left him there he'd die soon. They gave him some painkillers and his fellow workers called his wife to come by immediately. The woman ran to her husband, they exchanged a few words and a kiss, and called for the machine to be turned back on.

 

Noodles!

A man was cooking Oodles of Noodles and accidentally spilled the pan of boiling water and noodles onto his bare feet. The heat causing his pores to open and the noodles to enter his skin.

 

The Pig on the Road

A state trooper was driving through a rural area one day and as he passed by a farm, the farmer yelled "PIG! PIG!" at him while shaking a pitchfork. The trooper wasn't the sensitive type and began yelling out the window "Redneck! Redneck!" as he ran into the large pig crossing the road.

 

The Shadow Cross

An atheist who was training for the olympics had been given special pool priveliges at the university he was attending. Late one night he was considering the arguments a religious friend had been confronting him with as he climbed the high-dive for a little late-night practice. He stood on the board and prepared for a backward flip when he noticed the shadow he was casting on the wall formed a perfect cross in the partially-lit room. Shaken, he sat down on the board to think. As he sat there a maintenance worker came into the pool area and turned on the rest of lights and the diver saw that the pool had been drained for maintenance.

 

The Stuck Santa

One Christmas Eve a man dressed up as Santa Claus tried to go down his chimney to surprise his young children. It wasn't until he started to stink that they realize he'd gotten stuck and been cooked.

The Titanic

The construction of the ship was at such a fast pace that at least one worker was accidentally walled up in hull and left to die.

Catholic workers in Belfast almost stopped construction on the ship because the hull number 3909 04 seemed to spell out "NO POPE" when viewed in a mirror.

A cursed mummy that had already caused several deaths was in the cargo hold when the ship sunk.

The Titanic was the first ship to use SOS as a distress call.